I never imagined how hard some of the simplest things would become when done with a child. 

I am not a person who likes to constantly plan, I usually just worry about them. :) 

The errands that I used to just up and complete now have to be strategically planed. My thoughts go a little something like this :

" I have to go to Petco for the dog's flea medication, Grab the natural "good" dog food at the local feed store, and then I would like to enjoy soup and sandwich at Panera bread...but wait! what time is it ? When did the baby eat last ? I bet he will have to use the bathroom. Well...there is a Barnes and Noble next to Petco and I am familiar with Barnes and Noble having a diaper station so I can change him there. I had planned on just running in with the baby but now thats a pretty huge parking lot so now I will have to get out the stroller...and on and on and on..."

All of this thinking and madness can change in an instant over something that you forgot or a better parking spot.

Anyway....All I could think about all day was a yummy bowl of soup and sierra turkey sandwich from Panera Bread. Now matter what the hell happened that day I was going to Panera Bread.

I fought with the stroller,quited the baby, lugged that damn carseat around and FINALLY! I was ready to relax and enjoy that section of the day that I carved out for myself.

As I pulled into the parking lot I panicked. "Shit... how am I going to carry the tray of food and the carseat ?" and then I thought "AHA! stroller" wait..."shit...how am I going to maneuver that stroller through that place" If you have been there you would know how close everything is to one another. "Ill just give it a try" I exclaimed!

EPIC FUCKING FAIL STARTING NOW

I could not carry that tray and my kid...but thankfully a really nice employee had offered to bring it to my table since I politely voiced my concern. ( I totally acted like this was something that I did not think of because my craving for their yummy food was so intense)

Trying to make an iced tea with a baby at your feet and people waiting...not a good feeling.

When I started eating I had realized that my mind was so set on getting to my part of the day that I compromised Barnes and Noble to get here thinking that changing him at a restaurant would be no problem. Alone and awkward, I picked up my kid leaving all else behind to change a dirty diaper.

"What?! No changing table!?"

At this point, Oliver was still really good and only fussing mildly..I would like to input that although I am a new mom, I am not a complete jackass and do not or would not take my child some place to scream and be disruptive. 

There I stood in a cramped bathroom looking a hot mess with my bangs in my face and a "What the fuck" new mommy look.

Oliver chilled out but I was still nervous that he would not be comfortable so I pounded down my soup like it was a contest, wrapped my sandwich in a napkin and chucked it in the diaper bag and got out of there pronto. I then changed him in the car.

So all of the issues I had at Panera Bread would not have been a deal breaker except for the not having a changing station...I now know that I have to plan where theres are and go there accordingly. I understand that changing tables are gross...but I do bring my own cloths to wipe them down and my own protective pads. I prefer a changing table over a counter or the bathroom floor. I would not have minded very quickly using a counter but there was also no counter space.

I had also looked into the fact that changing stations are a courtesy, which makes sense. I do no believe that businesses should be forced to have them, it's just unfortunate that I will not be able to go there as much as I would have if they could meet my needs.

Then I got to thinking.....

I know if my other half is hungry for lunch he will get a burger. In fact I know a lot of men who just grab something more hearty than Panera's options for feasting. It seems to me that soups and salads are geared more towards women dining than men ( I know I could get shit for this) I just think of it as being more of a relaxing place that a woman would choose over a man...or a couples place. Still, couples have children.

I spoke to Jon about this and he suggested that maybe Panera Bread wants that atmosphere where people do not bring screaming children...then it all started to make sense to me...the small booths, the trays, the missing diaper stations. Maybe the place is layed out to discourage small children and their guardians...just maybe.

It's something that I have been pondering. I did some research online and discovered that you could find out ahead of time which Panera Bread has a changing station. So I am not sure what to think...

Anyone else deal with changing station frustration ? Or taking your children out in public ?  I am interested in hearing your thoughts.

I had added this documentary to my Netflix que sometime last year and kept bypassing it every time I actually had time to watch something on television. I have to be in a certain mood to actually want to watch a documentary and concentrate. I wish I would not have waited so long.

It's exactly as the reviews in the youtube clip describe. Absolutely heart wrenching and rocks you to the core.

This is one of those things that changes you...it makes me happy that I saw it, and yet absolutely disturbed that I saw it. If you do watch this though, keep in mind that I suggest you watch the whole thing. It moves slow in the beginning and has you wondering why you are still watching it. Only after you see the whole thing and take in exactly what these people went through does it hit you. This is a MUST for true crime addicts.

Has anyone else seen this documentary ? Or seen another movie/show/documentary that absolutely changed you ?